Persona non grata

“Some cause happiness WHEREVER they go, others WHENEVER they go.” Oscar Wilde

What to do, how to feel when you cannot stand the sight of a certain person? When his or her presence makes you feel uncomfortable; when you do not want them around for whatever reason (some trivial and some serious)?

And what would you do or how would you feel if others did not want you around?

In both cases, I am not talking about strangers, but family and friends. People that I guess  should want you to be there, should want you to exist in their presence.

But life takes an ugly turn sometimes, and those that some thought loved them, seemed to hate them. The sign now says, “Unwelcome.”

Should finding new friends be an option? Creating new “family members”? Trying to figure out and solving the reason(s) behind being left out?

No one wants to feel unwelcome . . . right?

7 responses to “Persona non grata

  1. please tell me the solution of the first question. what to do when you just cant suffer someone’s presence.
    i never linger in places i am not welcome in- never did and never will. show me a sign and you will see my shadow walking out of your door.

    • I ignore them or if possible, just walk away. Sounds easy. No, a lot of years of practice went into where I am today in doing that. A molding process. I mix it with compassion, that is, I try not to harbor any ill will. I thank God for this because I surely wasn’t going to do it on my own.

      An exiting shadow isn’t bad.

      • I have practiced it from a very early age, but i had to work on that feeling of being rejected. i never had any ill will but the pain of rejection lingered in heart.

      • Rejection hurts, but there comes a time where and when you have to look at the person(s) doing the rejecting.

        Are they the kind of person you want to be around or emulate? Sometimes some people cling to the things and people that hurt them the most. An abuse woman to her abusive husband. A child desperately wanting the attention of a parent or parents who abandoned them emotionally.

  2. If I was the one that people are feeling uncomfortable around, I would try to talk to them about what has made them upset. But if you know your behavior is upsetting to others, then you have a choice to either change that behavior or leave that group of people. Yes, even family members. Or if they are being abusive then I wouldn’t waste any time getting away from them.

    I would think that most people don’t like to feel unwelcome.

  3. I agree with what you said.

    Feeling unwelcome gives off a sickening feeling, but some refuse to acknowledge and then change the things that are making them unwelcome. Sometimes I think that some people lay out a mat that just push people away, whether by a toxic attitude, devilish behavior, etc.

  4. You’re right. Some people do lay out those mats that push people away. But that’s not your problem, it’s theirs. Best to keep your distance from those types and try not to take it personally. That’s not always easy to do though.

    Like Trisha said, it does take time to heal the wounds of feeling rejected. I’ve experienced the same thing.

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